Home Helpers - Massachusetts

Honoring Mom and Dad — Ways to Show Love and Respect (May 2009)
By Home Helpers, Jennifer Anastasiades

Mothers Day as well as Fathers Day is a great time to reflect on the endless support, love and encouragement we receive from our parents, especially during our most difficult years. Think of how our parents were always there to love, comfort, protect and encourage us as children.

While it is wonderful to offer our respect and love on Mothers and Fathers Day, there are 364 other days of the year that our parents also deserve our praise. As our parents age, become ill or face injury, many of us will have the opportunity to honor our mothers and fathers by providing assistance and encouragement as life becomes more difficult. Here are a few tips to help you ensure your mom and dad are getting the care and support they need and deserve.

1. IDENTIFY POTENTIAL LIMITATIONS – As our parents age, everyday tasks may become more difficult. Observe your parents and ask if there are certain aspects of daily living that are becoming more challenging. Determine if there may be any type of medical concern or diagnosis. Consider the skills and abilities a person needs to be able to live independently at home. Often pride gets in people’s way of asking for assistance, as they don’t want to be a burden on loved ones. If you notice or have reason to believe a loved one may be struggling, discuss your concerns in a loving and kind manner to determine if it might be time to offer or otherwise provide assistance.

2. MAINTAIN CONTACT – Whether seeing a loved one on a regular basis, talking with them on the telephone or sending cards and letters, keeping the lines of communication open may give you insight to life changes and struggles a person may be facing. Often, what a person says or how they say it can be quite insightful. Ask questions such as: “What did you do yesterday?” “How are you feeling?” “Have you been to the doctor’s recently?” “What are you planning to have for dinner tonight?” and “Is there anything I can do to be helpful?” So often people don’t know, because they don’t ask. Maintaining ongoing communication and talking about more than just news, weather and sports is a great way to honor your parents and demonstrate how much you care.

3. PROVIDE SUPPORT – If you observe or have reason to believe your loved one may be struggling, it is often easier to lend an occasional hand and gradually increase the level of support you provide, as opposed to waiting for a crisis situation. Quite often the type of support people want or need is basic help around the house, assistance with meals or transportation, or a hand to hold and a heart to understand. For many families, providing assistance can be challenging because of family, work and personal commitments. Maybe it’s time to look for ways to supplement the care and support you are providing. Explore the options that may be available in your community. From community programs to our companion caregiving services, there are many ways to help people maintain their sense of purpose, level of activity and independence.